Oops. I just realized. I don't live in a Highlander episode. And carrying a sword for self defense is probably the most pathetic short-cut to getting yourself shot or arrested, or both. Accordingly, the premise of Fred Hutchinson's new book The Modern Swordsman: Realistic Training for Serious Self-Defense may strike you as absurd. After all, not even those advocating swordplay as a "martial art" would actually consider strapping on a blade for real (I hope).

But it's never too late to have a happy childhood as you try to improve your speed, power, and accuracy. And Fred Hutchinson has actually come up with a nice training program that does just that. He has thought through his fantasy from every angle, some far-fetched (such as how to deal with a "Spear- or Bayonet-Wielding Opponent"), others quite good. I especially liked the parts on cutting and thrusting practice, as well as the target strike and touch drills with partners.

Of course, once you leave the training scenarios and again start seriously considering the use of a sword in self defense scenarios, you end up back in lala-land. And while Hutchinson lacks the gritty guts-and-blood sarcasm of an Animal McYoung, there are a few involuntary humoristic touches, such as the author's recommendation to use dog collars for "a ready-made neck guard". Throw in a leash and some Milkbones and you've got just the look I was shooting for...

All cheap shots aside, Hutchinson is a decent enough writer to stand on his own. The illustrations are sufficiently clear to get the point across, although they make you suspect that Ziggy's been sowing his wild oats a bit too freely.

But the aura of honest effort permeates the book and as such is praiseworthy. And who knows: Maybe if the Y2K bug turns civilization into the world of the Horse Clans, you'll kick yourself for not having paid more attention to his book.